Wake Me Up
by LouisianaRainstorm
Summary: Alicia is in for a shock of a lifetime. Set in season 5. First chapter is Alicia and Peter but the rest will revolve around Alicia and Will. I do not own the rights to The Good Wife. All characters belong to the Kings.
1. Chapter 1

**This first chapter deals with mainly Alicia and Peter but this story will be centered mostly around *Alicia and Will!***

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Christmas was over. The decorations were down, the holiday music stopped, and the feeling of peace on earth was gone. Peace in fact, was no where to be seen the first Monday of January. The results were in, Marilyn was indeed carrying Peter's baby. Both Peter and Eli sat privately with Alicia to break the news to her before it was announced to the public. Her face screamed disgust, anger, hurt and betrayal. He promised. He promised. Being Governor was supposed to make things better for them. She stopped everything with Will to make their marriage work again. She had even tried to find time in both of their schedules to take that trip to Hawaii to renew their vows. To have and to hold. She felt more like to slap and to scream.

How many times did they sleep together? How good was she? He bought their old home, did they do it there? In the master bedroom? Did they try positions she and Peter had never done? It was the same questions she asked herself when Peter was caught sleeping around with hookers. Marilyn was young, pretty and energetic. She made Alicia feel old, ugly and tired. She was carrying a boy. Peter. She remembered when she was carrying Zach that Peter never wanted to give his son such an older sounding name.

"He'd be picked on and called things like Peter Pan, or Peter Brady, like I was." she recalled him saying 18 years ago as they sat together in bed, looking through a book of baby names.

Alicia's thoughts were interrupted by Eli. He explained that as the First Lady of Illinois is was her job to put her law firm on the back burner and support Peter on his apologetic press tour throughout the state. She protested but Eli said that the public has seen her as Saint Alicia ever since the first scandal five years ago. The people were more likely to forgive Peter if they saw her do the same. She would rather drive nails up her arms than be in front of the cameras giving modest smiles and holding Peter's hand as the people cheered his name. She wanted to run away. Run to the safe, loving and honest arms of Will Gardner. But that was unthinkable, the man wanted nothing to do with her ever since she left L&G. She was alone and she felt like she was drowning as everyone else looked on.

It was Peter's job to break the news to Zach and Grace that they would have a new baby brother. Alicia would protect them through this as she did before, but it was Peter who deserved to see the hurt and betrayal on his own children's faces. The news was met by silence from the both of them. They believed that their parents were going to be okay but now it had all hit the fan once more. Zach was finishing up his last few months of high school, and was counting the days until he was away from everyone. He had planned on majoring in politics, but he saw behind the curtain and he wanted to wash his hands of it. Zach had planned on telling Alicia that he was looking into studying law, when Peter came over to drop the bombshell. Grace loved her dad, but she too felt betrayed. At that moment she hated him for ruining what was becoming a happy family, or so she thought it was becoming.

Back at Florrick and Agos, Alicia handed over her cases to Cary. She made sure the best fourth year at their firm took first chair. She didn't want to leave what took blood, sweat and many tears to build, but she knew that Cary would be able to keep the firm up and running. She would only be gone six weeks, tops, according to Eli, and she had hoped it wouldn't take even that long. The more she delved into her work, the less she thought about the reality happening all around her. She let Cary in on what was going on, she needed someone to talk to. Cary was flabbergasted. He wasn't always good with words but promised to be there for her when she needed someone during the time that she was away.

The next morning she was on the bus with Peter and Eli. Jackie took the kids, Alicia put her foot down when Eli even thought about suggesting that they appear with Peter in front of the cameras. Her request while on this tour was that each night they sleep in a hotel. She would take one floor and Peter another. They would not speak or see one another unless it was when he was giving his speech. His speech that was full of lies. He wasn't sorry. He wasn't sorry the first time and not sorry this time. He was only sorry he got caught. For six weeks they traveled from city to city, meeting with the people. They shook hands with the citizens, smiled for the cameras, Peter kissed babies, Alicia was given enough flowers to make her feel like Queen Elizabeth. Alicia's nights were in the hotel room with her old friend, red wine. Each night the tears became less and less, but the drinking became more and more.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the kind reviews! Here is chapter 2! Enjoy!**

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Six weeks came to an end, though it felt like it would never arrive for Alicia. Once back in Chicago she explained to the kids that whenever they wanted to see their dad, they can just go ahead and do it. If they wanted to stay here that was fine too. She was tired and didn't want to fight with Peter over when he saw the kids. They were old enough to make up their own minds about where they wanted to be. She had gone to his place only once, standing at the front door the entire time. She explained that she was done. She never wanted to see or speak to him again. He had cut her to the core and she would not stand by him anymore. He could make her look like a fool while in front of cameras but she reminded him that she was a lawyer, she knew people, and had no qualms of conscience blackmailing him if he tried.

She was no longer the good wife.

Back at her apartment she changed the locks to avoid his sudden entrances that had become the norm the past few months, or even that of Jackie. She wanted nothing to do with the Florrick family, and in that moment she hated herself that she let him father Zach and Grace.

She went back to the law firm and met with Cary. She took on as many cases as she could handle. Busy was good. She preferred staying busy. One case already had her annoyed but ready to fight. Chum Hum was looking back at returning to L&G. Cary prepped her for what to expect in court that day. L&G weren't giving up without a fight. With the amount of emotions running through her, she was ready.

Upon arriving at the courthouse she was surprised to see Diane and David Lee. There was no sign of Will which was odd, but she didn't think much of it. Through out the morning both sides made their case. Alicia was confused why Diane was going so easy, rarely objecting to anything she said. It must be some sympathetic thing because of Peter's fathering a child. Even David Lee had no smart remarks. She was ready to play hardball but it looked like they were surrendering. It made her angry.

When the day ended, Alicia went over to L&G to confront Diane about how she didn't want sympathy. She got off the elevator and bumped into Will.

His eyes widened, shocked to see her there.

"Alicia..hi.."

She looked at him. Not him too. She was sick and tired of being treated like a porcelain doll every time Peter screwed up.

"Hi Will, missed you in court today." she said while heading to Diane's office.

"Yeah, I have another case I am working on."

She nodded. "I see. So it's no big deal that Chum Hum wants to return to you?"

He looked at her "No, it is. But I thought Diane was better suited for it."

"Well still doesn't explain why she and David Lee went so..."

That's when she saw her.

Tammy, Will's ex-girlfriend was walking towards them. Pink shopping bags in hand...and a pregnant stomach.

Alicia took in a sharp breath.

Tammy met up with them smiling, as she kissed Will.

"Hey there handsome!"

He gave a small smile.  
"Hi, looks...looks like you've been shopping."

She smiled "Well I couldn't help myself" she said. "I was just going to pick up bedding for Olivia when I saw that Carter's had the most adorable sale on collegiate wear, look!"

She pulled out a pink onesie that had Georgetown written on the front.

"Now she can be just like daddy!" Tammy said moving in to kiss Will.

Will reluctantly kissed her back. It was an awkward moment being there with the two of them. He had no doubt Alicia knew nothing.

Alicia couldn't breath. She was having his baby. Little miss "three pointer this, and three pointer that." was carrying his baby, and naming her Olivia.

Tammy looked over at Alicia

"Oh! Alicia! I didn't even see you there. Sorry, everything has been so chaotic lately."

She forced a smile with every muscle in her face.

"That is fine...con..congratulations. How far along?"

Tammy put her hand on her stomach "Four months!"

Alicia nodded doing the math in her head. That was around the time she left with Cary. In fact that was the exact same time.  
"Well that is just wonderful" she responded. "I have to get going. I'll talk to Diane another time. Congratulations again..." she looked at Will "..both of you."

She walked back to the elevator and quickly pushed the button. It seemed like eternity for the doors to open. When they finally opened she got in and hit the ground floor.

Will walked after her but missed her. All he saw was a glimpse of her holding her hands in front of her face as the elevator doors shut.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, I know I should wait and span out the chapters.**

**Grab some tissues!**

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No one was home except for Alicia. She walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and sipped it. Her muscles began to relax the moment the liquid touched her lips. It wouldn't leave her. It wouldn't hurt her. It wouldn't find someone else. She looked around the kitchen. She could see Peter making breakfast, the kids doing their homework right there at the bar. She took another sip as she saw Will laying her on the counter top about to make love, not enough patience to get to the bedroom. Another sip. Alicia walked into the bedroom. She saw the scratch on the headboard, the reminder of the night she let go and had a full blown orgasm with Peter. Another sip. She saw Will again, on top of her whispering her name as she moaned with each thrust. Another sip. Walking into the bathroom she saw Peter turning her around to face him, lifting her on the counter willing to take care of her physical needs because she needed to study. Another...the glass was empty.

She looked at it, then at her reflection in the mirror. Who was that staring back at her? Could that be Alicia _Cavanaugh_? It couldn't be. The fact that she couldn't recognize the woman in the mirror made her angry. Her body was shaking and she threw the wine glass at the mirror, shattering it. She saw the perfume bottles by the sink. She grabbed the bottle of _Chanel_ N°_5 _and flung it at the mirror, screaming. Tears were escaping and it made her angrier. She walked into the bedroom and ripped the blankets off of the bed and threw them on the floor. Alicia walked into the closet and pulled down outfits snapping them off of their hangers. Her wardrobe full of red. Red the color of love, the color of lust, the color of anger, the color of lies. She made her way to the kitchen to pour a fresh glass of wine and downed it. The taste of salty tears mixed with the dryness of the wine. She set the glass down and looked around. Memories were all around her, every where she turned was Peter or Will. Father's to be of children not her own. Alicia grabbed the wine bottle to refill her glass. She didn't hear the door open. She didn't hear the footsteps. Looking at the bottle her heart raced. She threw the bottle into the window as hard as she could. She grabbed the objects closest to her. Decorative plates and coffee mugs. Each throw met with screams and tears. She felt someone grab her from behind and hold her tight.

"Leesh, stop it! Stop it! You're scaring me!"

That voice. It was him. Will.

She pushed away from him but he wouldn't let go.

"Leave me be!" she begged him

"No!" he looked at her. He saw her pain. He felt her pain. He knew he couldn't do anything to take it away.

"Yes!" she cried as her knees buckled.

Will held her as she slid to the floor.

He kissed her shoulder, at a loss for words or actions.

For a moment she let him hold her.

"It was supposed to be ME! I...I wanted to carry your baby. I wanted us to be a family!" she said through the tears.

Will was about to speak when she forcibly removed herself from his hold. She took a deep breath and walked over to the refrigerator. She opened the door and took out another bottle.

Will saw and quickly stood up. He grabbed the bottle from her.

"No more, Leesh."

Alicia looked at him and snatched it back.

"My name is Alicia! I hate being called that nickname! Does Tammy have a nickname?! Huh?! Do you spend nights together making love on a balcony? Is every elevator ride a make out session for her? Does she fall asleep in your arms? Do you carry her to bed?"

He looked at her, he would normally become defensive but he knew that would only push her further away.

"Do you two stay up late, planning the future for your little Olivia?" Alicia bit her lip hard. That name. "Does she know that your baby is being named the same name as the baby you and I lost back at Georgetown?" Alicia asked, her eyes cold. She had no feeling left.

Will took in a shaky breath. "I..I hadn't..."

She stopped him, and turned away unable to look at him. "You forgot what we named her. You forgot our daughter's name."

He took her arm but was met with a swing as she tried to let go of his hold. She turned to look at him once more. Tears in her eyes.

"Please leave. Don't ever come back...you're killing me, Will."


	4. Chapter 4

**_Thank you for all of the reviews and messages._**

**_I do have to say that it was difficult to write this chapter with "Thicky Trick" stuck in my head, but I got through it haha!_**

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_Georgetown University - May 1993_

_Will Gardner was sitting on the floor surrounded by law books, loose papers and a dictionary he jokingly bought as a door stopper but had actually needed. Final exams were next week and he was the definition of stressed._

_Alicia knocked on his door._

_"It's open!" he said, mouth full of pizza as he highlighted a paragraph from the text._

_Alicia opened the door and walked in._

_Will looked up._

_"Alicia!" he said swallowing the pizza. "Just the person I needed! Answer this question." he said looking back at the text  
"When the prosecution believes.." he was cut off._

_"I'm pregnant." was all she said._

_He froze. It took him a moment to fully hear what she had just told him. He looked up at her._

_"You're pre...preg...are you sure?"_

_She nodded and held up the pregnancy test._

_"It says positive. I took one yesterday too, it said the same thing." she swallowed hard.  
She was scared. All her hard work getting into law school and then maintaining a high average was not something to be thrown away._

_Will shut the book, getting up on his feet and walked towards her. His face pale._

_"So, you mean over Spring Break when we...?"_

_She nodded again and let out a shaky breath. She quickly wiped a tear that escaped. She was silly to dream that it was ever possible for his reaction to be that of lifting her off her feet, spinning her around and kissing her._

_He looked at her, then took the test in his hands and saw the plus sign._

_"Wow.." he said looking back at her._

_"I'm sorry" she whispered._

_Will's face looked confused. "Sorry? Alicia. You didn't do this alone."_

_A smile began to appear on his face._

_"I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. Whether you want to hear that or not it's true. Now, you and I are having a baby." he said, placing his hand delicately on her stomach. "We're going to be a family."_

_Alicia looked at him, eyes wide. Shocked at hearing the L word, but began to smile at hearing him say 'family'. Will always had a way to calm her worries. She pulled him close to her and hugged him. _

_"I lov.." she stopped. Something in her couldn't say it in that moment. _

_She loved Will, but was so scared that if she said it now he would think it was because he had just said it or because of the baby. In all honesty she too fell in love with him the first day they met. He had so many different girlfriends though, she began to believe that he thought of her as a sister or just as a good partner in Moot Court. It wasn't until Spring Break after a night of drinking and dancing that he walked her back to her hotel room, and made her realize she was more than a friend to him. She would find the right time to tell him that she loved him._

_"Wow." she laughed nervously "A family." she looked at him and smiled, the look of fear in her eyes were replaced with joy but quickly returned._

_"Will, we have another year of law school. Our families. My mother! I can't finish law school with a baby on my hip, and...and I don't want this baby to keep you away from studying." _

_She began to ramble until he stopped her with a kiss. Relaxing in his embrace, she returned the kiss._

_"Alicia, it's going to be okay. All of it will, I promise. I'll handle your mother, and I will make sure that you and I both graduate. Besides if there comes a time our firm becomes Gardner and Gardner, we may have to save some space to add this little one's name some day." he grinned proudly at the thought._

_Alicia shook her head, she couldn't hide smiling at his words. What a wonderful day that would be. Mr. and Mrs. Gardner and Sons...or Daughters. Her daydreaming was stopped by Will planting another kiss on her lips then kneeling down to her stomach._

_"Hi there little trouble maker, I'm your daddy." he laughed softly then looked back up at her.  
"Is it a boy or a girl?" he asked._

_"It's too soon to tell, I need to set up an appointment. But seeing as we did it 3 months ago, it shouldn't be too much longer until we know."_

_Will picked her up and gave her a long kiss. _

_"Thank you for this, Leesh. Thank you for making me a daddy."_

_Alicia smiled, her cheeks turning red._

_"You're welcome Will-Bear." she laughed softly as he cringed at the nickname. It was only fair. She hated the nickname Leesh, she felt like it was something you use when walking a dog. However, when Will said it, it rolled off the tongue so smoothly she thought it was the most beautiful word in the world._

_July 1993_

_Will got out of the shower and got into a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. He opened the bathroom door and smiled watching Alicia. She was laying in their bed, reading a book of baby names while snacking on a bowl of strawberries that rested on her 5 month pregnant stomach. The bowl moved up and down as she breathed, mixed with the baby's movements making it noticable._

_"What about the name Karen?" she asked taking a bite of the strawberry._

_Will walked over to her and got in bed, pulling the covers up._

_"Kymberly?" he responded._

_Alicia looked at him "With an I or a Y?"_

_"With a Y" he said. He knew the look on Alicia's face meant no._

_Alicia swallowed the strawberry and handed him one, placing it over his lips for him to bite. He took a bite._

_"Kymberly Erin Gardner. Will, her initials would be KEG. It's bad enough she was conceived over Spring Break, but really?" she couldn't help but laugh at the thought._

_Will laughed and nodded, swallowing the strawberry. "You're right, so long Kymberly."_

_Alicia flipped through the pages, scanning through each name._

_Will watched her. She was beautiful. He never imagined Alicia being pregnant could be so unbelievably breathtaking. _

_He grabbed a strawberry and fed it to her._

_She took a bite and looked at him and smiled to thank him before looking back at the book._

_"What if we did something totally off the wall, like Mercedes?"_

_Will looked at her puzzled. "You want to name our baby after a car?"_

_Alicia stopped to think and nodded "Yeah your right. So long Mercedes." she laughed softly going to the next page._

_Will went to get another strawberry, when he saw her eyes light up._

_"Olivia!" she smiled and turned to look at him. "Olivia Rose.."_

_Will thought for a moment and smiled._

_"Olivia Rose Gardner. That is beautiful, Alicia." he smiled and kissed her lips._

_She smiled, returning the kiss._

_"I love it, and I love you, Will."_

_He looked into her eyes.  
"I love you too, Alicia." he whisper._

_He put his hand on her stomach. "Well, miss Olivia Rose what do you think?" he said laughing._

_Alicia laughed then her eyes widened as she felt her kick. She placed her hand on top of Wills._

_"I think she loves it as much as we do." she said._

_Will moved the bowl on to the bedside table, taking the book of baby names and placing it next to it. He kissed her stomach gently, then went up and kissed her lips._

_They spent the rest of the evening making slow, passionate love to one another. Both feeling the need to be as close to one another as possible._

_At 2 am Will was woken up by Alicia shaking his arm._

_"Will! WILL!" she screamed._

_Will sat up and turned on the lamp by the bed._

_He turned to look at her._

_His face went pale._

_She was laying in a pool of blood. _

_Alicia was crying, breathing heavy, and shaking._

_Their eyes met._

_Olivia was gone._


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much everyone for the reviews!**

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When they returned for the fall semester at Georgetown things were different. It didn't take long for her to meet Peter. He swept her off her feet. He could afford to take her places and do things with her that Will was unable to at the moment. What hurt him the most was that the old Alicia smile that disappeared in July had returned when she was with him.

She shook him from his flashback.

"Look, it was a lapse in my control. I am fine now, really. The kids will be home soon and I don't want them to freak out seeing the mess I've made." she told him.

He looked at her for a moment then nodded "Alright, just be careful. Don't cut yourself on the glass." He turned and walked towards the door.

Alicia bent down to grab a piece of the wine glass on the floor.  
"Maybe that would release some of the pain." she mumbled to herself.

Will heard her and turned around, looking at her. This wasn't the woman he fell in love with. She was like the wine glass, broken. Any glimmer of the Alicia he knew and loved was gone.

"Go and lay down, I'll clean up this mess." he told her.

She looked at him and stood up, throwing away the piece of glass.

"I said I have it under control, now please go."

"Alicia I said go lay down! You're in no condition to be doing this!"

"My condition?" she shook her head "Clearly you're forgetting I'm not the pregnant one here."

Those words came out harshly, but to her felt like a very small victory.

Will looked at her.

"I am perfect condition to clean up my own mess!"

A mess that was more than what lay around the house.

He let out an aggravated growl, and picked her up like a child. He carried her to the bedroom and laid her on the bed.

Before she could get on her feet he saw the mess in the bathroom and the walk in closet next to it.

All of a sudden she felt ashamed that he saw just how far she fell off of the pedestal he had her on.

Will looked back at her.

"I'll take care of the kitchen, you take care of what's in here. I'll be gone as soon as I'm done. Sound good?"

He was using his lawyer tone, negotiating a deal that the other side couldn't refuse.

She nodded her head. "Fine."

Will walked back out and went to work cleaning the kitchen. He checked the window. The double pane kept it from shattering, but there were noticeable cracks.

Alicia walked into the closet and began to pick up the clothes. One by one they were put back perfectly as they were before. She looked up at a box on the shelf above the clothes. "Georgetown" was written on the front. She took it off of the shelf and set it on the floor of the closet. She sat down and opened the lid. Inside the box held papers she had written, grades, extra graduation invitations, pictures from different events and old sweater.

Flipping through the photos was like going back in time. Alicia and Will during a mock trial. She won that case and to this day believes he let her win it. There was one of her and Will in his dorm, she was jokingly about to hit him with a law book, the look on his face still caused a small laugh. Another of her and Will under a tree at a campus picnic. The next picture was of her and Peter at her graduation. Setting the photos down, Alicia pulled out the sweater when she saw a smaller box underneath. She froze. It wasn't until she heard Will say he was heading out did she grab the small box and stand up. She didn't need to finish searching through, she knew what else laid inside the Georgetown box and she couldn't bare to see it.

Alicia walked out of the room and went over to Will.

"Thank you for cleaning up, I appreciate it." she said.

"Not a problem. You take care of yourself, Alicia."

"Will.." she said handing him the box

"Here. Don't open it now, but I thought it was something Tammy could use." she swallowed hard.

Will took it and looked at her confused.

"Okay? Thank you." he said as he opened up the door and walked out.

When will got to his car he got in and opened the box. Curiosity getting the better of him. His hands shook as he stared inside. Quickly he looked away and cleared his throat, trying to catch his breath.

He looked back and took out a blue and white infant shirt that read "Future Georgetown Student". He saw the one underneath, a purple onesie that read "Don't Mess with Me: My Daddy is a Lawyer". At the bottom of the box was a pink dress that read "Daddy's Princess" with a tiny tiara on top. The tags were still on them.

Will grabbed them and held them close to him for a moment, realizing that Alicia was giving them to Tammy for their baby.

Alicia had finished cleaning up the mess she made. By the time the kids got home, there was no sign of her breakdown. She got right to fixing them supper as she asked how their day at school went. Zach was really dedicated to studying law. He had borrowed some of Alicia's old textbooks that she had kept, and was always so full of questions. Alicia was happy to answer, this is what she needed, to get her mind off of recent events.

"Zach you can't just tell the courts you think he is innocent. You have a right to think he is, sure, but in order to win your case you have to prove it. Concrete proof. There will be evidence for and against your client, and you don't get a say sometimes of what is used against him. Your job is to fight tooth and nail to prove his innocence. You have to believe in what you're fighting for."

As the three of them conversed Alicia's cell phone rang. It was Peter, he wanted to know if he could take the kids to Springfield for the weekend. She agreed to it as long as the kids wanted to go.

After they had eaten, Zach and Grace went to pack their bags. Alicia cleaned up the kitchen, putting the dishes in the dishwasher. When they were ready, she kissed them both goodbye and pleaded with Zach to be careful while driving. The door shut and there was silence.


	6. Chapter 6

**Some of you have asked for me to update quickly, so here you go! Let me know what you think.**

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The sun was shining through Alicia's bedroom the next morning. The warmth was on her face and she felt a kiss on her neck. Eyes still closed, she smiled.

"Mmmm, Will..."

"My name is Paul." said the man that lay next to her.

Alicia's eyes sprung open. Suddenly she remembered last night.

The kids had left and she didn't want to stay home. She stopped by the bar a bar just for one drink. One turned into two, two into three until she found herself dancing with a man. More drinks followed. She remembered going up the elevator with him, inviting him into her apartment. Next thing she knew they were in her bed, clothes on the floor and he was on top of her.

She turned her head and looked at him. Dark hair and dark eyes like Will, and like Peter.

"P..Paul?"

He pulled her close and kissed her lips.

"You called me Will last night, remember?" he asked her.

The feel of his touch made her skin crawl.

She grabbed the bed sheet and got up, grabbing her robe, she walked into the bathroom and put it on.

Breathing heavy she looked at herself in the mirror. Her head pounding from the hangover. She opened the medicine cabinet for aspirin when she saw the box of condoms. She quickly grabbed it. They were unopened.

"What have I done?" she whispered to herself, her heart racing.

She never thought she was capable of sleeping with a complete stranger.

Alicia turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face before walking back out into the bedroom.

Paul was putting on his jeans when he looked up and smiled at her.

His teeth were white and perfect, smooth chest with a 6 pack, the muscles in his arms were bigger than her waist. He was gorgeous.

"Paul, I think it's best if you head home. I was out of control last night and I don't normally do this."

She watched him put on and button his shirt, the covering it with a leather jacket.

He nodded and walked over to her.

"I had a feeling. Don't beat yourself up about it Alicia." he kissed her cheek "By the way there is a glass of water and aspirin by the bed." he said as he walked out the bedroom to the front door.

Alicia rubbed her forehead and sat on the bed. She opened the bottle and took two tablets and downed it with water. Setting the glass back down she saw a wrapper on the floor. She grabbed it and threw it away then sat back on the bed breathing a sigh of relief. They had used protection.

Will Gardner held the box of baby clothes in his hand. Hearing the ding as the elevator doors open he walked out and bumped into a man walking out of Alicia's apartment. He was fixing his jeans. Will watched him for a moment.

She wouldn't have. Alicia isn't capable of one night stands.

He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Alicia went to open it and looked at him.

He looked at her. She was wearing only a black silk robe.

She did it.

Alicia was shocked to see him there. But his silence annoyed her.

"Can I help you with something, Will?"

"Uh..yeah" he handed the box back.

"I can't take these, they are personal and belong to you."

She hesitantly took the box back and looked at him.

"Can't say I didn't try." she responded and went to close the door.

Will grabbed the door to stop it.

"Alicia who was that leaving your apartment?"

"Nobody. Why?" she looked at him. She knew he wouldn't let her close the door but that didn't keep her from trying.

He walked in and shut the door.

"Please don't tell me you did what I think you did." he said.

"What? You and Peter can sleep with whomever you want when you feel the need to, but I can't? That's a double standard, Will! Besides it's not anymore your business who I sleep with than it is me knowing who you sleep with."

"Alicia, I.."

"Tell me, William, just how many women have you slept with since Georgetown? Do you need to use my fingers to help you keep track?"

Will just looked at her. He didn't know this woman. But he knew deep down, that Alicia, his Alicia was still there, he just had to get to her.

"Did you use protection?" he asked

"No." she responded. "You and Peter never seem to need to, why me?" she turned and walked towards the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, thinking of venomous words to use to get him to leave.

He followed her and watched her from behind.  
"So what does the morning after feel like, Alicia? Do you feel like a better person, glowing with happiness, or do you feel like filth knowing you've done something with someone you don't know that you can't take back?"  
She turned and glared at him.  
"Get out of my house, William Gardner. Now." she was breathing heavy, her chest visibly going up and down.  
"No! I want an answer!" he shouted.

She walked towards him.

"You want an answer? I feel amazing, absolutely no regrets. It was the best sex I have ever had! I went down on him while in the car. He fingered me while we made out in the elevator. He was big, a lot bigger than you! He made me scream with pleasure. He was on top of me, his hot sweaty body covering mine, pounding into me. I rode him hard and fast, Will, just like I used to do with you. I have never in my life had such a night of sex that I can barely walk. I had multiple orgasms that I can still feel the aftershocks from! There, are you happy? Did you get the answers you were seeking?"

He was silent. He knew that she was lying but he couldn't help seeing the images.

He swallowed hard and looked at her.

"Yeah, yeah that's what I wanted to know." he told her.

"Good. You know where the door is." she turned and grabbed a cup to pour coffee.

"Be honest Alicia." he said.

"I was!" she responded.

"Not about that." he said walking up behind her.

"Tell me you didn't imagine me as he kissed your neck." he said as he gently placed his lips on her neck.

"As he touched you.." he continued, placing his hand on her skin near her cleavage.

"As he was thrusting inside of you." he said, pulling Alicia close to him. Her back to his chest.

He placed his lips to her ear and whispered."Tell me you didn't shut your eyes, desperate to look up and see my face."

Alicia closed her eyes, hearing his voice and feeling his breath made her go weak. It was true, she thought of him the entire time.

She turned her head and their lips locked.

Will pulled her close as he inserted his tongue into her mouth.

Alicia pulled away quickly.

"No! Will! We can't keep doing this. You're with someone else!"

She wiped her mouth, tears in her eyes. She couldn't make eye contact with him.

"What happened at Georgetown was a mistake." Alicia said.

Will looked at her, anger in his eyes.

"Olivia was NOT a mistake!" he responded.

It was the first time she heard him use her name since that tragic night.

Unconsciously she touched her stomach and closed her eyes for a moment.

"No, Will, that's not what I meant. What I meant was falling in love with you was a mistake because there is no way I'll ever be able to rid myself of that."

She turned to leave the room but he grabbed her arm gently and pulled her back to him.

"You're going to listen to me right now, Alicia." Will said authoritatively.

"You left the firm to start your own, you went back to your husband. It's been absolute hell having to face or avoid you in court. Now we are going to sit down together and lay all of this on the table once and for all. I am sick of this. It's time we act like adults." he looked at her.

She looked back at him.

"Fix yourself a cup of coffee, I'll be in the living room." she said as she walked out and sat down on the sofa.

Will quickly made a cup and followed after her.

* * *

**Well it looks like it will be certainly be a memorable conversation! What will they have to say?**


	7. Chapter 7

**It's way too long I know!**

**Buckel up and enjoy the roller coaster that is Willicia.**

* * *

Will walked into the living room and sat on the opposite end of the sofa. He looked over at Alicia.

She took a sip of her coffee, her eyes looked over at him. The silence was deafening.

"Where do you want to start?" she asked when she couldn't take the silence.

He set his coffee down on the table in front of him and looked over at her.

"Let's start from the beginning. Georgetown, July 93."

She shook her head, setting her coffee down and stood up.

"I think we should open a bottle of wine if we're going this far back."

She walked past him towards the kitchen when she felt him grab her hand. She looked back at him shaking his head.

"No, Alicia. We're doing this sober."

He heard her sigh as she sat back down.

This wasn't going to be easy for either of them.

"First off, I just want to say that I never once forgot our daughter's name. Alright? Not once does that name not piece my heart like a dagger."

She looked at him

"Then why in the world would you and Ta.." she stopped. They were starting from the beginning, and she didn't know if she could handle his answer.

"Alright." she said.

There was a moment of silence. They were both thinking about her.

"She would be 20 years old." Alicia said looking at him. "She would be at Georgetown right now, eating stale pizza and cramming for finals."

Will let out a shaky breath. He never thought of that. He always pictured her as an infant.

"Wow." he replied "That means that we have had this bottled up for 20 years. We never spoke about the miscarriage, Alicia. It happened and then before I knew it you were out of my bed and on Peter's arm."

Alicia bit her bottom lip hard, nodding trying to hold back tears. She was a lawyer, she shouldn't be this emotional. Will has seen her weakness far too much lately.

"Why didn't we ever talk about, Leesh?" he asked her.

"I...I don't know, Will. I figured that after it happened...you didn't want to be reminded."

"Didn't want to be reminded?" he responded.

"You think I'm still not reminded of what happened Alicia? I can still hear your heart wrenching cry. I heard it that night and then again when you broke down in the kitchen. I can still see you shaking, look of horror and pain on your face. It's a nightmare I relive continually. Knowing that I caused you to miscarry our daughter will haunt me for the rest of my life."

Alicia's eyes widened. "What do you mean you caused it? You didn't do anything, Will."

She reached for his hand, but he moved it and grabbed his coffee and took a sip. Trying to delay his admittance of guilt.

"We made love that night, do you remember? I was on top of you. I remember I forgot about keeping my weight off of you stomach. I was going in too hard." he shook his head and took another sip before clearing his throat.

Alicia took his coffee and set it on the table and took his hands.

"William Gardner, you never hurt me or the baby. Had you had too much weight on me I would have let you know. Your movements did not, and I repeat did not cause this to happen!"

She placed her hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb softly.

"You've been carrying around that guilt all this time?"

He shook his head, not answering verbally.

She wanted to take him in her arms and kiss him and hold him close to her. That wasn't allowed anymore. Tammy got to do that now.

"If it's anyone's fault Will it's mine. I was the one carrying her, I must have done something. Maybe it was stress, the strawberries...or maybe it's neither of our faults and nature took it's course..." she said swallowing hard.

Will looked at her.

"I don't blame you, Alicia. I never have and I never would. You did everything just right. You ate healthy, you researched as much as you could to prepare, you even signed us up for birthing classes do you remember?"

She ran her fingers through her hair, scratching her scalp to avoid what he was saying.

"Answer me Alicia. Tell me you don't blame yourself."

"How can I not, Will? If I would have not miscarried maybe we would have ended up married, our own law firm, two or three more children perhaps. We would have been happy and not tangled up in all this mess that I have caused!"

She looked away and quickly wiped a tear from her eye then looked back at him.

"I don't want to talk about the baby anymore, I can't."

Will nodded.

"Okay." he said "Then let's talk about how and why you ended up with Peter."

She began to get defensive but he stopped her.

"We agreed everything on the table, this is a part of it."

Alicia nodded and reached for her coffee and took a sip. It was luke-warm and she shook her head placing it back down.

"After...all of that happened. I wanted to focus just on school to get it over with and not think about anything else. Josie set me up on a blind date with Peter. I didn't want to go but I did. I needed to get off campus for a while. He was sweet, and charming. At first perhaps it was rebound from you. After a while though, I think I began to fall for him. Every time I saw you Will, I thought of her. I saw what I lost for us. To be with Peter was easier because I didn't feel the guilt. Suddenly there was security." she shook her head.

"I know it sounds like an excuse. But one thing led to another, I found myself pregnant with Zach. It opened a fresh wound going through the first five months. Jackie made us get married before he was born. I agreed because I didn't want to risk losing someone else if I couldn't carry to term. I still thought of you, but when I would see you there was always a girl on your arm. It looked like for you, the miscarriage was a relief and you had moved on."

Will stopped her right there.

"That was anything but a relief, Alicia! I dated those girls to try and numb the pain of losing the two things I loved most. Seeing you with Peter was gut wrenching. I couldn't just sit and watch you move on with your life."

She looked at him for a moment.

"I stayed with him because I thought I no longer had a chance to be with you again."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"You see, this is what happens when we don't communicate with one another. We can't do this again 20 years from now."

He looked up at her. His eyes caught her robe, it had loosened a bit and her cleavage was visible. His mind turned to the fact that a stranger was touching her just hours before he had arrived. He swallowed hard, jealousy building. He didn't hear Alicia say his name until she snapped her fingers in front of him.

"Did you hear me, Will?" she asked.

He gulped swallowed hard and nodded "Yeah..yeah I did."

She looked at him and realized where his eyes were. Looking down she noticed the looseness of the robe and fixed it quickly.

"Well we both know where your mind is at." she said with disgust in her voice.

He shook his head.

"No..." he sighed "I just couldn't help thinking that some stranger had his hands on you. His finger prints are still on your skin." he shook his head to force the images out.

Alicia stood up, holding her robe completely shut.

"You don't think the thoughts of you and Tammy come to my mind? You calling out her name, her pleasuring you, you being inside of her, making her..." she swallowed hard and bit her lip. "I am going get dressed."

She walked into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it.

She opened the closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and a red blouse. Her signature color. She walked into the bathroom and brushed her hair and applied perfume. She walked back into the bedroom and stripped the bed to wash before she went to sleep. The glisten of the bottle by her side of the bed caught her eye. She walked over, grabbed it and took a swig. It went down smooth and she let out a sigh of relief, she felt like she could breathe again. She took one more before placing it back by the bed and returned to the living room. Will had refilled their cups of coffee.

Alicia sat down and took the cup and sipped it, removing any remnant of the taste of alcohol.

"Let's fast forward to when you began working at the firm." Will began.

She nodded. "Okay, what about it?" she asked.

"You weren't poison. No you were not fist pick and I did fight for you, but you were not poison. I just thought you should know that."

Alicia nodded. "Thank you, Will. I did enjoy working there, I really did."

He laughed "That's why you took our biggest clients and tucked your tail between your legs and ran out with Cary and the other fourth years." He looked at her. "Why, Alicia? Why did you do it and why in that way?"

She looked at him "I told you, I wanted to start my own firm. I always wanted that."

He shook his head.

"Alicia we agreed all on the table, now show your cards or I'm out of here for good. I do have better things to do with my time."

She nodded "I know, you have a baby on the way, it takes a lot of work."

"I wasn't talking about that."

Alicia took a sip of coffee and held the cup with both hands, feeling the warmth on her skin.

"I know, but she will occupy most of your time even before she arrives."

He took the coffee cup from her hands and set it back down.

"Answer the question Alicia. Why did you really up and leave?"

It was no use in telling him the truth now. Why complicate his life by confessing she still is madly in love with him.

"It was time I did something for myself. The opportunity just happened to show up."

He stood up and walked into the kitchen to avoid what would become a screaming match.

After about ten minutes he walked back in and stood over her, making direct eye contact.

"One last try, Alicia. The truth or I will walk out of here and do whatever I can to make your little firm crumble to the ground."

She looked at him. She couldn't reveal that deep into her heart.

"Go back home to Tammy, I'm sure you to put a crib together or something."

He shook his head giving an aggravated laugh.

"Well, this has certainly been a wasted day."

"Tammy needs you, Will."

He looked at her, anger in his eyes.

"STOP IT! Stop saying her name like that!"

"Like what?" she asked looking back at him. "That's her name isn't it?"

He shook his head, his body tense.

"You stop it right now. You leave her and my daughter out of this!"

She swallowed hard. His daughter.

She could continue and it blow up. It would at least push the question of why she left further away, or she could just apologize and hope they moved to the next topic.

"I'm sorry." she whispered "I'm sorry, Will. It won't happen again. Just sit down and let's finish this."

He looked at her for a moment, breathing heavy. It took him a minute but he sat back down but not making eye contact.

"Why did you leave the firm. Why did you leave me? Why didn't you warn me? I demand to know Alicia."

She stood up and walked over to the window, overlooking the cars going past below. The sun was already beginning to set. She thought of how to word it. It was now or never. Never meant losing him for good. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I left the firm, to leave you. I had made a vow to Peter that I intended to keep. Had I stayed I would be seeing you daily. My heart aching for you, for your touch. I would never have had a chance to try to make my marriage work. Cary's offer came right after our kiss in your car that night. I jumped at the chance because regardless of my feelings for you we would always be two people who kept coming back to one another and it's not right. I was...am married and I have children to think of. I needed to set a good example for them, especially for Grace. If I stayed I wouldn't be able to let you go. If I stayed I wouldn't be able to handle seeing another woman on your arm. I had to do it so you could be free and I could bare living without you. I didn't warn you because how would that have been possible?"

She opened her eyes, the sun glaring into the room. She turned and looked at Will who was staring at her in disbelief.

She turned back facing the window.

"Why didn't you use a condom with her? I mean when you were with me you.." she stopped and shook her head "I'm sorry, that was out of line. I am happy for the two of you I really am. I am.."

He walked over to her.

"No, we agreed to let it all out. Finish what you were going to say, Alicia."

She couldn't look at him.

"When we were at Georgetown you told me you had no problem taking that sort of risk with me. I don't know maybe it was just being young and stupid, but ever since we got together a few years ago, you always made sure to use protection. Every. Time. Why not with her? Yes protection is smart...but did you do it to protect yourself from me? To make sure that every time you banged me nothing would ties us together? Peter was the same right after Grace, even after I had the IUD put in. Now both of you are fathering children with other women. What's so wrong with me that men don't want to get too close?" she shook her head. "Don't answer that."

She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. She couldn't do this sober. She grabbed a glass and the bottle of wine and poured it. She took a deep breath and put it to her lips, taking in the red liquid.

Will followed her, dumbfounded at what she had just said. He walked towards her and gently took the glass and set it down.

"Sober Alicia."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. He was too close to her, the smell of his cologne intoxicating.

"Please Will, just let me finish the glass."

He shook his head.

"No, now listen to me. First off, I never ever banged you, Alicia, I made love to you. There is a huge difference."

She slowly nodded as he continued.

"The day you left, I was angry. I went to the bar, got drunk and bumped into Tammy. We both had too much to drink and one thing led to another. I didn't even realize we weren't safe until I woke up the next morning and saw her laying there. I can't say I would take it back because that would mean not having my daughter, but I didn't do it on purpose." he sighed softly and took her hand.

"Leesh, you are the most loving, caring, sexy, intelligent woman I've ever met. I would have no problem being that close to you."

She pulled her hand away.

"Don't do this Will, it hurts too much. Just, scream at me or be angry, but don't speak like that to me when I can no longer have you." she swallowed hard and changed the subject.

"Are you hungry? I can make us something, we've been talking for hours."

Will watched her "Anything is fine" he said quietly.

She nodded and grabbed the phone and ordered Chinese food.

When she hung up she turned to look at him.

"How was she?" Alicia asked him.

His eyes widened.

"Excuse me?"

"How was she, Will? Did you two go all night? Did you try positions we have never tried?" her eyes meeting his. "All on the table, right?"

He couldn't believe she was asking this.

"Well, how was what's his face from this morning?"

Her eyes glared at him.

"That was a mistake, okay? We both know it. It was a lapse in my judgment."

"You seem to be having a lot of lapses in judgment lately Alicia. I don't know this new person you've become but I would like to see the old Alicia return, sooner rather than later."

"Thanks for identifying my flaws, Will. I want to know right now, was she better than me?"

He shook his head.

"Stop it! This won't get us anywhere but back where we started."

She sighed with a small nod.

"You're right, I don't know why I even asked."

"Yes you do, you wanted to know if there was any inkling of desire for her."

She looked at him.

"The answer is no. We are having a baby together, but I do not love her. I don't even know for certain if she has feelings for me."

"Why are you naming the baby Olivia?"

He looked away, his eyes focused on a picture on the wall.

"It was Tammy's idea. I didn't have the courage to tell her about what happened. I keep hoping she will want to change it."

"Do you remember how we chose that name?" Alicia asked.

Will looked back at her.

"We were in bed, eating strawberries. You were flipping through a book of names. You didn't like Kymberly with a Y. I didn't like the name Mercedes."

Alicia bit her lip. He remembered even the smallest of details.

Twenty minutes later the food arrived.

Will grabbed his wallet and paid for it.

Alicia took the food into the living room and sat back down on the couch.

They ate in silence to begin with until Will spoke up.

"What were your dreams of us?"

"Please, Will, let's not go any further." she said.

"All on the table Alicia. That July, where did you see us when you looked into the future.

She took a deep breath and got up, walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

He sighed. "Alicia! Stop running away!"

A moment later she returned. She had opened the Georgetown box and pulled out the item at the very bottom. She handed it to him.

He took in a sharp breath. He didn't realize she had kept the ultrasound picture.

She sat down next to him.

"My dream was to be Mrs. William Gardner. Joint partner in our law firm. Mother of Olivia Rose, and perhaps William Jr. later on down the road. Living in Chicago in a nice neighborhood , hosting backyard BBQ's in the summer with our friends, watching you coach little league, us taking romantic weekend getaways. The assurance I would fall asleep safe in your arms each night."

She stopped as she felt tears form and she closed her eyes.

"Seeing our children graduate college, growing old with you. It's the life that would made Cinderella envious."

He took her hand and she looked at him.

"I love Zach and Grace with all of my heart, I don't know what I would do without them. Their births are two of the happiest days of my life. But I have always and will always wonder what life would have been like if..."

She didn't have to finish. Will grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Me too..."

She set her food down and looked at him.

"Can you hold me one last time?"

He looked at her, set his food down and pulled her to him.

Will wrapped his arms around her tight. He felt tear drops hit his arm one at a time.

He took a deep breath and tried to hold back his own.

Alicia shut her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

"I love you, Will." she said as she she drifted to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Again, thank you so much for all of your sweet and very touching reviews. It really means a lot and keeps me wanting to write!**

* * *

Monday came too fast. Alicia showered and dressed, then made her way to the kitchen to make the kids breakfast as they got ready. While the pancakes were on the stove she poured a glass of orange juice and mixed a bit if champagne with it.

"Who needs coffee?" she thought to herself.

The kids walked into the kitchen and she made their plates. Zach had a dentist appointment so he would be checking out of school early. Alicia reminded him to return afterward to pick up Grace. She had a lot of catching up to do at the firm from being gone those six weeks, she knew she would be working late for a while.

She finished her mimosa before taking a bite of Zach's pancakes and heading out the door.  
When she walked through the doors of Florrick & Agos it seemed like everyone in the building was on the phone. People were running here and there. She walked to her desk and before she could put her purse down Cary was already going a mile a minute.

"Chum Hum is serious about leaving, they're not playing games, Alicia. Apparently LG is making some sort of deal that could make it official in the next few days."

Alicia sat down at her desk and rubbed her forehead.

"They won't leave. Let me get some things together and then we will discuss what measures need to be taken. Diane and W...Diane barks louder than she bites."

Cary gave a questioning nod and headed back to his desk.

She was feeling overwhelmed. Was her name on the front of the building really worth all of this? She stopped before even answering. She knew better. This was her dream since Georgetown, she knew it wouldn't be easy but it would sure be worth it. The rest of her day was spent working with Cary and a few of the associates on how to financially persuade Chum Hum to stay put.

When Alicia returned home, Zach and Grace were in their rooms working on homework. She set the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter. The aroma of spaghetti filled the house. They had fixed their own dinner. Alicia sighed softly, her own kids cooking for themselves because she couldn't be there made her feel awful.

Grace heard Alicia come home and walked out to the kitchen.

"Hey mom how was work?" she asked.

Alicia looked over at her daughter. Her little girl was growing up so fast. She walked over and hugged her.

"It was a Monday all right." she replied, kissing the top of her head.

"How was school?" she asked as she began to put away the groceries.  
"I got an A on the Biology exam, and apparently Michelle's mom pulled her out of school because she's pregnant."

Alicia's eyes widened as she turned to look at her daughter.

"Congratulations on the A...Grace you're not...and even if you were you would certa.."

"Mom, relax." Grace said, cutting her off.

"I'm not and if I were I'd be safe. But again, I'm not doing anything, I promise."

Alicia smiled. With all the mess she made in her life she at least did two things right. The fact that her two children were smart, healthy and had a good head on their shoulders was something she wanted to shout from the rooftops.

"Go on and finish your homework, it's almost time for bed."

"Okay. Oh mom, there is a package in the living room for you."

Alicia watched Grace go back into her room. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed a can of Coca-Cola on the bottom shelf.

She opened up one of the cabinets and took out a glass. She filled the glass with ice then poured the soda into it. As the fizz was going down she opened the last grocery bag and took out a bottle of bourbon. Unscrewing the cap she added some into the drink. She placed the cap back on and put the bottle in the pantry behind where the apron hung.

Alicia walked into the living room and saw the thick manilla envelope sitting on the table in front of the sofa. She took a sip of her drink and walked over. She sat down, placing the drink on the table. Her fingers reached for the envelope and quickly opened it.

Peter had signed the divorce papers. She had them written up before leaving to go on his press tour. Her hands shook as she saw her signature, and his right underneath.

She reached for her glass and took another sip, staring at the black ink that read Peter Florrick. She flipped through the pages. There would be 50/50 custody of Zach and Grace. She would get child support and alimony. The amount shown almost let her breathe a sigh of relief, but money doesn't fix anything. She would not have to be with him as he announced the divorce to the public.

Taking another sip, Alicia noticed some things were changed. Her eyes widened and heart raced as she read. If she were to publicly slander him, Marilyn or the baby, or in anyway try to blackmail him, she not only gives up child support and alimony, but will lose any sort of custody of Zach and Grace. She saw red, her hand gripped the glass, knuckles turning white, her whole body shaking with rage.

"I can't believe him." she whispered to herself.

She threw down the paper and leaned back on the couch. She took another sip of her drink and closed her eyes, trying to calm down.

After finishing her drink, Alicia stood up to get a refill before looking at the Chum Hum account. She needed them to stay on board with her and Cary, but their little games to get attention made giving up quite tempting.

The next day seemed almost like a repeat of the day before. Wake up, shower, mimosa, make the kids breakfast, go to work, stress out. She sent the divorce papers back to the lawyer. She didn't put up a fight with Peter's new agreement. The sooner it was over the better she thought.

Alicia and Cary were due in court at 1 that afternoon. They would be facing off against Will and Diane about some petty case that she wasn't even fully prepared for. She spent that morning with Cary going over as much of the details as possible. They stopped at noon for lunch. Tired of restaurant food, Alicia headed home to grab a quick bite to eat. She walked into the house and went into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and searched for leftovers. Her eyes glanced at the cans of coke and she grabbed one. She took out a glass and filled it with ice then opened the pantry for the bourbon.

Taking her drink into the living room she sat down on the couch and turned on the television. She needed to zone out for a bit. She flipped through the channels before stopping on CNBC. "GOVERNOR OF ILLINOIS AND WIFE DIVORCE" was on the screen. Video footage of his speech played as they showed pictures of them together. She stared at the screen as some of the pictures were of him and Marilyn.  
"Change the channel." she thought to herself. Instead she took another sip and continued watching. As the news anchors began to commentate the speech, clips were shown of when she stood by him as he admitted to the cheating scandal. This had been the longest five years of her life. Alicia didn't realize how quickly she finished her drink, and went to refill it. She came back and continued to listen to the news.

Alicia jumped when her phone rang. She fumbled for the phone and looked at the screen. She answered it and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Alicia where in the world are you?! You were supposed to be in court 20 minutes ago! Do you have any idea how angry the judge is right now?"

It was Cary, his voice in a panic.

Alicia sat up, she must have dozed off. Looking at the clock she saw that it was 1:22.

"Cary I'm so sorry, I'm on my way. I...I got held up!" she hung up the phone then stood to her feet. A little wobbly but she turned the television off and grabbed her purse and keys walking out the door.

She walked quickly into the court room heading straight for her table.

"I apologize for my tardiness, your Honor. I got held up in a personal matter. It won't happen again."

"In your opinion?"

Great, it was Judge Lessner. Not what she needed today.

"Yes, your honor. In my opinion."

"Take a seat Mrs. Florrick."

Alicia sat down and gave Cary an apologetic look. She saw Will behind him, he was looking at her with concern.

She faced forward and listened at Diane question her client on the stand. Alicia had no idea what was going on. She flipped through her notes as Cary whispered in her ear what has happened so far.

They were representing an animal shelter that was being sued by Mr. Sanderson, a man who claims his dog died a week after bringing him home from the shelter.

As Diane sat down, Alicia took that as her cue to stand.

She walked towards her client. Her legs felt like jello and she blinked a few times for her eyes to focus.

"Mr. Sanderson, you said that the shelter was ill equipped and the animals were not properly cared for is that correct?" she asked.

He nodded, saying yes.

Normally Alicia liked to move around going closer to the one on the stand, but her head was killing her thanks to all the stress from Peter. She needed some sort of support so she walked back to the table and leaned against it.

"Exactly how far into the shelter did you go to see how the animals were treated?" she asked him.

Will listened not to Mr. Sanderson's response but to Alicia. He thought he was hearing something. Why was there a hint of a slur as she spoke?

She continued after he answered.  
"Were you given any of the paperwork for your dog?"

"Objection!" Will said, standing up. "Mr. Sanderson has already brought forth all the necessary paperwork as evidence."

"Sustained, Mr. Gardner." Judge Lessner responded.

Alicia hated objections, they always threw her off.

"I apologize your Honor." she said before looking back at the witness stand.

"Mr. Sanderson.." she stopped and looked at her notes "One moment, please." she said as she fumbled through the papers.

Cary sighed and stood up, buttoning his jacket and walking forward.

"Mr. Sanderson to your recollection did you know of any other animals at this shelter who died so suddenly?" he asked.

Alicia watched him and sat back down. She looked over and saw Will staring at her.

When they finished for the day, Will followed Alicia out of the courtroom.

"Everything okay, Alicia?" he asked walking next to her.

She nodded "Yes, you know how I get with objections. It's fine, don't worry about it."

Will could definitely hear a slur when she said the word 'objections'. He thought after their talk things would be getting better.

"Okay, I'm just making sure you're ready to fight with the big dogs for a change." he said, trying to get a response from her.

Before she could respond she saw Tammy walk in.

"Of all the places and of all the times." she thought to herself.

"I'll see you later." she said as she walked past Tammy.

On her way out the door she heard her mention an ultrasound, and Will's voice responding with "Look at my little girl!"

Alicia got into her car and drove off. She meant to go straight home, but found herself walking through the doors of a bar.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the delay, classes have begun and I have been busy!**

**Still don't own The Good Wife. I wish I was a King. :-/**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think! Remember it has to get worse before it gets better. ;)**

**Thank you Josie, for everything!**

* * *

The following Monday Alicia walked into Florrick, Agos and Associates. She went to her desk, setting her purse and drink on top of it. Before she could sit down, Cary was walking towards her.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" he asked, sitting down on top of her desk.

Alicia looked at him, her body beginning to tense with stress as she sat down.

"Bad news." she said with a sigh.

He nodded. "We're going to lose the case with Mr. Sanderson and the animal shelter if we can't find substantial evidence that the shelter is at fault for the dog's death."

Shaking her head, Alicia gritted her teeth. Just once she would like to have things go right for a change.

"What's the good news Cary? The shelter has agreed to put us down like dogs too?"

Cary laughed but stopped when realizing that he was the only one.

"No, no. Chum Hum is staying. I don't know what you did to convince them, but it sure worked."

Alicia cracked a smile. She was completely confused about doing anything to convince them, but she was overjoyed that they were staying.

"Well, that certainly is good news! It's about time we have a large victory. Let's celebrate!" she said smiling as she walked over to Cary's new mini fridge and grabbed two beers. She walked back over and handed him one before opening her own.

"To Florrick and Agos, may no one ever meet us in a back alley." she said with a laugh, raising her bottle.

Cary laughed and clinked his bottle with hers.

"It's a little early for a beer, don't you think?" he asked, looking at her.

Alicia swallowed her sip and sat down in her chair, looking at him.

"Cary, we just saved ourselves from going under. Chum Hum with all of it's money and influence wants us, us!" she said with a smile, taking another sip.

Cary nodded with a smile. "You're right. Here's to us" he said as he took a sip.

Things were looking up, even the sun was shining through the windows.

Alicia smiled. "Okay, let's get to work on this animal shelter, we need to have Robyn go there today and see what she can find."

Cary nodded as he stood up from her desk. "I'll have her there before lunch. Any word from others who bought from the shelter in the last 12 months?"

Alicia sighed and shook her head. "No, this is the only premature death that has been recorded. If anything has happened, no one has come forward or the shelter did a good job covering it up."

Cary took a sip of his beer. "We were able to keep Chum Hum, if we can do that then we can beat Lockhart Gardner with this." he said, raising his beer once more before returning to his desk.

Alicia smiled again. They were not going down without a fight.

When she finished the beer she called Robyn and gave her the address of the shelter.

Three hours later Robyn had returned. She thinks she may have a lead but wasn't sure and told Alicia and Cary that she was posing as a dog owner, so she would be returning later in the week to find out more information.

Alicia was busy on her computer trying to find anything she could on the shelter. She had searched through the list of people who owned the shelter, and any news articles she could find. She was searching for legal information when a presence put a shadow on her desk.

It was Will.

Her eyes widened, and for a moment she didn't say anything.

"I've come here on behalf of Lockhart Gardner to discuss Mr. Sanderson." he said, taking a seat in front of her.

Alicia clicked out of the web page and looked at him.

"Cary is out of the office right now, so if you'd like to come back then, that might be better." she responded calmly.

Ever since they had had it out with one another at her apartment, there was a peace between them even though they worked for separate sides.

Will nodded "I know, but Diane and I want this to be over with as soon as possible as I'm sure you and Cary want the same. So I can stay and discuss or I can leave and let this drag out for another couple of months."

"Alright. What kind of deal does the shelter want to make?" she asked as she reached for her travel mug and took a sip.

Will grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off of her desk and wrote down a number then slid it to her.

"They are willing to settle with this amount, given Mr. Sanderson ends his suit.

Alicia put her poker face on as she reached for the paper and read the amount. It was good, better than good actually.

"Well I will have to discuss this with Mr. Sanderson and Cary obviously, but I think that this offer will certainly be able to persuade them to end the suit." she responded, taking another sip.

She wanted to grin and laugh like she used to when her and Will won a case, but she knew she needed to keep professional.

Will began to speak when one of the associates walked over needing Alicia for a moment.

"Excuse me, Will." she said as she stood up and walked away with the associate.

Will looked around where he sat as he waited for her. He let out a quiet yawn and reached for Alicia's mug to take a sip of coffee to wake him up.

He had to stop himself from spitting it out, his mouth filled with the taste of orange juice and vodka.

Alicia had made a screwdriver and brought it into work.

"What in the world is she doing?" he asked himself, setting the mug back.

A moment later Alicia returned.

"Sorry about that, one of the associates doesn't seem to understand one of the computer programs. I feel we have another Elsbeth Taconi on our hands." she said with a laugh, sitting back down.

He didn't return the laugh which made her look at him.

"What is it?"

Will looked at her. She wasn't slurring her words. She was able to handle the intake better. He was almost fooled.

"Will, what is it?" she asked again, looking concerned.

"I didn't get much sleep last night, so while waiting for you to return, I took a sip of your coffee." he responded, looking right at her.

Alicia cleared her throat, caught off guard.

"Yeah, no I'm not drinking coffee at the moment. My mom found this concoction while on her latest travel adventures. It's supposed to be a cleanse of some sort. I thought I'd humor her."

He looked at her. Was she really grasping at straws and think she could pull it off?

"Alicia there's vodka in there. It's not even noon."

She fought inside herself not to get defensive. She liked his company.

"I will speak to Cary and Mr. Sanderson about the deal, I'm sure we can have all of this worked out by this afternoon." she said, standing up and extending her hand.

Will stood up and looked her in the eyes. He didn't need to say anything, his eyes told her the truth. He turned and walked out.

She watched him leave and took a deep breath and went back to work.

* * *

That evening night Alicia helped Zach pack his things. He was spending the week with Peter to look at different colleges he was interested in. It was heartbreaking to think of him being gone in just a few short months, but she understood his excitement. After helping put his bags in the car, she gave him the by now, well-known safety speech while he drove to Springfield. She waved goodbye as he drove off.

Grace arrived home late, after studying at her friend Michelle's house. She walked inside and dropped her book bag by the door.

"Mom, I'm home, what's for dinner?" she asked, walking into the kitchen and looking around. The stove was off, no dishes in sight.

"Mom?" Grace repeated as she walked into the living room.

Alicia wasn't there.

Grace walked to the bedroom and knocked on the door before going in.

"Mom.." she walked quietly to the bed and found Alicia asleep.

Grace sighed softly and took the whiskey glass out of her hand, and looked at her.

"Goodnight, mom" she whispered as she covered her up and walked out of the room.

* * *

Friday afternoon was joyfully welcomed by Alicia and Cary as they settled with Lockhart Garnder. She was glad it was over. The firm celebrated that evening with a dinner. It was another victory under their belts. Diane and Will were being more civil towards them and treating them as equal law firms as opposed to one that would not exist by the end of the year.

Alicia got in her car after the dinner and turned on the engine. The radio came on at the same time.

"In breaking news, Illinois State Governor, Peter Florrick has announced his engagement to Marilyn Garbanza. This is Governor Florrick's second marriage. His marriage to his first wife Attorney Alicia Florrick ended only recently. The Governor and Ms. Garbanza are also expecting a baby in just a few short months."

Alicia''s hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"Peter?" she said out loud.

She shook her head. They weren't even officially divorced yet. Her heart began to race, she didn't know how to react.

* * *

Will was woken by his phone ringing. He looked at the clock. 1:49am. Rubbing his eyes he grabbed the phone and didn't recognize the number. After another ring he answered.

"Will Gardner." he said sleepily.

"Will...it's Grace Florrick. Alicia's daughter."  
His eyes widened, now fully awake.

"Yes. What can I do for you?" he asked, looking back at the clock.

"Mom went to work today and then to a dinner with Cary. She hasn't come home and isn't picking up her phone. I'm really worried. Have you heard from her?" she asked with a very noticeable worry in her voice.

He sat up and got out of bed.

"I haven't seen her since this afternoon, Grace." he replied calmly.

"I'm really worried, Will." she said.

"Listen." he continued. "You stay where you are and I am going to go and find her alright? Everything is going to be okay sweetheart, don't worry about a thing okay?"

"O...okay" she said, still worried. "Please let me know when you find her."

"I will. If she comes home though, call or text me okay?" he said, trying to make his voice as warm and comforting as possible.

"I'll do that. Thank you Will."

The call ended and Will quickly got dressed and grabbed his wallet and keys. He knew exactly where she would be.

Fifteen minutes later Will walked into the bar. He heard her laugh and looked right at her. She was doing a tequila shot with a man. The man obviously had other interests besides laughing with her.

"She's gone over the edge" he thought to himself as he walked over to her.

"Alicia."

She turned and looked at him.

"Will!" she said handing him a shot glass. "Here, you need this. A lawyer's best friend."

He set the glass down and took her hand.

"Come on it's time to go home."

She pulled her hand back.

"Excuse me? Who put you in charge?"

He shook his head. "Alicia I'm serious. This is getting out of control."

She looked at him."If you're here to make trouble than just go, Will. You haven't had a good time in a few years anyways."

She looked over at the man doing shots with her and whispered loudly "He knocked up his ex-girlfriend so he's not fun anymore."

He rubbed his forehead and picked up Alicia and threw her over his shoulders and carried her out of the bar.

She screamed at him, kicking her legs, trying to get down.

"How dare you! You have no right whatsoever to come in and mess my night up!"

He set her down but caught her when she couldn't keep her balance.

"Alicia" he sighed. "Alicia, Grace called and is worried sick about you. It's 2 in the morning and you're at a bar!"

She looked at him. "She doesn't have to worry. She has a mom who loves her, a dad who works hard, and oh yeah, a future step mom who opens her legs for anyone. Kind of life Tammy..maybe Tammy should marry Peter."

Will said nothing, he had heard the news of the engagement. It explains the excess drinking, but she didn't normally handle things so irresponsibly. He helped her into the car and got in and drove off. He called Grace to let her know that her mom was safe and he was bringing her home.

When they arrived at the apartment he looked over at her. She was sound asleep. He got out and went over to the passenger side and picked her up, and carried her inside. Grace met them at the door and held it open for him.

Will walked into Alicia's bedroom and laid her down on the bed, taking off her shoes. He put the trash can by her and took a step back to look at her. He was at a loss for words. She had hit rock bottom.

He walked back out and saw Grace emptying out the bottles of alcohol into the sink.

"She's drunk." was all she said in an angry tone.

Will nodded as he walked towards her. "She'll be okay."

"Yeah, as long as I keep putting her to bed and taking the glass of whiskey out of her hand before she drops it she'll be okay."

He took the bottle out of her hand and set it down, pulling her into a hug. He rubbed her back as she cried.

"I can't keep doing this Will, it's been 2 months and she doesn't stop! I'm really scared!"

Will continued to rub her back. He was unaware of the responsibility Grace had taken on.

"Shhh, kiddo. It's going to be okay. I promise. I will fix this okay? You don't need to worry and this isn't your responsibility to do this."

He looked at her and wiped her eyes.

"Do you want me to call your dad to have him pick you up?"

Grace shook her head and wipes her eyes.

"No. I need to be here. Mom has no one else but me. If I walk out on her like everyone else, what will she do?"


End file.
